3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
