omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
