I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize