i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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