I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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