she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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