I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
