K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
