Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
