I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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