Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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