ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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