it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
