Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize