So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
