dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's always time for handjobs
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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