Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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