i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
