he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She bit a glass in half.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
