Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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