Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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