i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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