Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
