What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How's work?
Spinning.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
