Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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