I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
