Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
