spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
