So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
