I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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