I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
