We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
