I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
