so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
