why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
