"it" just moved
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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