I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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