Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
