how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Congratulations! We have a period
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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