Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
