After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
