So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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