Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
