If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ketchup is God's man juice
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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