Don't you send me to vm
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
