therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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