Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
