..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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