I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize