Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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