JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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