No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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