I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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