i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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