I didn't shave. On purpose
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
