Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
