i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
