They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
